Who I am as a Communicator
This week we were asked to take 3 inventories (Verbal Aggressiveness, Listening Skills and Communication Anxiety). We were also asked to choose two people who would rate us using those scales too.The first person I chose was my husband, Jason, for we have been together for over 15 years and I think he knows me the best. The second person was a friend of mine, Lynne. I chose her because I have been able to interact with her in different capacities like being a friend, a godparent to my son, a colleague, a co-coordinator for events for children, spiritual accountability partner, co-host in events for children and as a consultant for her preschool.
It was interesting to see how all three of us came up with scores in terms of my verbal aggressiveness that were so close together and all fall in the midpoint of the scale. Thus, we all agree that I am moderate in verbal aggressiveness and tries to not attack people or hurt feelings when I try to persuade them. I think this level of verbal aggressiveness is and will continue to be helpful in my personal and professional life for as they said, I try to remain respectful of people and stick to the topic at hand. Being like this will help me communicate with other people without attacking their character and will help me be able to work well with others.
All three of us also rate the same way for my listening skills. We all think that I belong to the first group, people-oriented. We all believe that I focus on the feelings/emotions of people I talk to. This will also be helpful in both my personal and professional lives as I can make people feel valued as I listen to them and validate their feelings. However, this can also be a barrier in a way especially since I can be too focused on the emotions that I forget or lose sight of the details/content given. My mom and husband also think that I can easily be deceived by the stories of other people.
The only difference in the rating was with regards to my communication anxiety. Lynne think that I have low communication anxiety while my husband placed me in having mild anxiety. I on the other hand, scored myself to having moderate communication anxiety. Lynne thinks that I am very comfortable when we host together or when I do lectures and speak in front of a large group. My husband knows me a little bit more and knows that I sometimes have anxiety when I speak in front of groups. This may also be because I tell him what I feel more. They both do not know that I often times feel anxious before, during and after I speak especially in large group settings. I just try not to show it much, I guess. This self-presentation may help me professionally as people do not know that I am not comfortable while I am speaking.
posted by Elizabeth King Santos @ 7:17 PM
3 Comments:
Elizabeth,
Great insights. We scored the same except for communication Anxiety. I also thought that maybe it was self-presentation. My evaluators thought that I did not have communication anxiety while I did. Like you too, it is mostly during my public speaking, trainings, and high stake meetings. I hope we can share tips on how to ease that anxiety. Let us make it a common goal and come up with practical tips by the end of this course.
Nar
Elizabeth,
You showed great insight into your scores and how you feel. You must present yourself as feeling self-assured even though you are anxious. My husband also says that I am often too trusting of others, I think this may be a hazard of our field.
Elizabeth,
You friend Lynne is like my cousin Kenya. They play so many roles in our lives, that it should be considered a blessing. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't have her by myself in so many aspects of my life. It is so great to have "life's little blessings".
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